Monday, March 1, 2010

Peer Review on WA1 of Tham Kai Sheng by SHIVAM PATHAK

After reading through the essay I could identify and get a clear picture of what is needed to be done in next meeting by developed and developing countries after Copenhagen Accord. At the end of second paragraph the concluding point is repeated a bit.Other than this there seem to be no problem in repetition of ideas.Each point is well explained and elaborated with use of exhaustive examples.

The style of writing is very straightforward without "beating in the bush" which is acknowledgeable. The essay is a bit wordy(more than 800 words) and use of vocabulary is kept simple and refreshing. The thesis statement in first paragraph is very well elaborated and point of explanation is well positioned in paragraphs.

Besides the three points pointed by Sheng, I think there also includes a long-term social step taken by governments to convince the common mob of their respective countries to terms of Copenhagen Accord. Developing countries have lot of issues like poverty,education to deal with hence government should take step to aware people to use clean fuels, bio-fuels. People in developed countries are used to modern lifestyle.Governments have to show them way to compromise their lifestyle for our environment.Hence , lots of negotiations have to be dealt.

Overall the essay is exhaustive in itself to understand the pledges needed to be made.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for spending your time to read my essay and give that a review. I can see that you have the thoughts showing that there are more necessities that we need to focus on to answer the prompt, However, due to length constraint, I guess it is not possible to elaborate such many ideas in my essay.

    Additionally, I would like to clarify that the amount of words (800 words) is probably inclusive of the outline and references, I guess.

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