Monday, March 8, 2010

Peer Review on Final WA1 of Tham Kai Sheng by SHIVAM PATHAK

The revised essay is more or less same as the previous one with addition of some points in every paragraph whether being points( example- in paragraph 4 the point related to the EU has been added while CHINA and INDIA is generalized as developing nations) or the sentence structure.This makes the essay impressive and more exhaustive.

The style of writing is very straightforward towards the topic.This is acknowledgeable. The essay is not very lengthy and refreshing.After reading through 1st paragraph I could very well make out the points it need to discuss in following paragraphs. They are well elaborated as well.

The point which I gave could be included ,however, as JAVIN commented previously, since essay was long enough there was no need to include that.This is OK. There are no more grammatical errors as far as I could see.

Overall the essay is nice and self-explanatory to understand the pledges needed to be made in upcoming conference in Mexico city.
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1 comment:

  1. Javin ThamApril 16, 2010 at 1:52 AM

    Thank you for your review.

    I see your effort of observing the examples that I have cited which could help to answer the prompt appropriately.

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