It was really hard for me in the beginning when for the first time I was supposed to go to a club and I had pretty different thoughts about that.The very first thing that came to my mind about clubbing was that "loads of alcohols" which I do not like as my personal choice ( preferably due to other kind of cultural background).
There was my friend's birthday celebration at his apartment. It was weekend and we had already made up our mind to enjoy(which could be different for different people). The plan was that we would go to his apartment in afternoon , celebrate for about 3 hours and then go for an evening show movie. After all sorts of fun, one of my friend checked available tickets online. Everyone was disappointed when we came to know that there were no more tickets available.
Now what to do. One after the another suggestions came along. I was busy in talking to others while suddenly it was decided to go clubbing. When I heard I was kind of uncomfortable due to that "thought". I was confused whether to back off and go back or not (because many of my friends could be disappointed). While I was busy thinking, the whole gang started to move ; there I was left, pretty confused. Finally I decided to go with them on a condition that if I wouldn't like it I would move out and go back.
We reached at the club house. The whole environment was electrifying with rocking songs. I started liking it. But the moment I entered the club, there were sights of alcohol drinking. I was reluctant to move further, but carried on. Soon I saw most of my friends started drinking too and even forced me to have one. I was shocked and disappointed. I decided to go back. While thinking I could feel the cultural conflict between me and them. I told some of my friends and told them I am not quite used to it so I am better going back. They kept asking me to stay but I could not.
Now what to do. One after the another suggestions came along. I was busy in talking to others while suddenly it was decided to go clubbing. When I heard I was kind of uncomfortable due to that "thought". I was confused whether to back off and go back or not (because many of my friends could be disappointed). While I was busy thinking, the whole gang started to move ; there I was left, pretty confused. Finally I decided to go with them on a condition that if I wouldn't like it I would move out and go back.
We reached at the club house. The whole environment was electrifying with rocking songs. I started liking it. But the moment I entered the club, there were sights of alcohol drinking. I was reluctant to move further, but carried on. Soon I saw most of my friends started drinking too and even forced me to have one. I was shocked and disappointed. I decided to go back. While thinking I could feel the cultural conflict between me and them. I told some of my friends and told them I am not quite used to it so I am better going back. They kept asking me to stay but I could not.
Finally one of my friends decided to go back with me as I was new in Mumbai and was bad at finding my way to home. He had not drunk so while in the way, I told him how I felt and what was the real reason. He understood and even told me to never mind and top of that told me to join next time. I wondered. He said that it is not necessary to drink and join the dance in clubs. Once you are enjoying music you can go and have fun.
I was pleased and relieved as well. "Now I can go to a club too!!!", I thought. The conflict really gave me an important experience.
Hi Shivam,
ReplyDeleteI had similar experiences. It was really not easy to go clubbing for the first time.
However, I am not sure if "Clubbing is one of the most popular activities among almost all age groups." Maybe you have a broader difinition of "clubbing".
So in this case, I believe that the "conflict" is between the cultures of "club-goers" and others. My understanding is that you are not comfortable with the sub-culture of clubbing.Walking away, as you did, was a good choice. We all have a choice whether to fit into that sub-culture or not. You have made the suitable decision for yourself. Good for you!
Hi Shivam!
ReplyDeletePeer pressure! I guess you gave in when your friends literally "forced" you to join them.
Having been to clubs before, I definitely understand the positions your friends were in. To them, they wanted to include you in the fun they were having. However, perhaps they were unclear that you were not comfortable with alochol. Your decision to walk out was a smart move. Whenever I find myself caught in tight and uneasy situations, I would prefer not to get involved at all. I'm glad you stood up for your rights, and not having to suffer under the hands of temptation.
Cheers,
alvin
Thanks Xi Xi for such a supportive and prompt reply. I feel I made a good decision at that time. :)
ReplyDelete@Alvin: Thanks man. You are right when you said it was good not to suffer or feel uncomfortable that time.
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting post, Shivam, because it seems to demonstrate, as XiXi points out, not so much a difference between cultures as in subcultures, unless your friends were all of one particular cultural group (say, Punjabi) and you of another. But I assume that you are all of the basically the same ethnic background. Is that correct?
ReplyDeleteWhen talking about activities such as clubbing though, we can say that regular club-goers are in fact a subculture of the culture at large. In Singapore, clubbers would include members of a variety of different ethnic groups, Chinese Singaporean, Indian Singaporean, Malay Singaporean, white American, Japanese, etc.. What common traits do regular clubbers hold? Many love to dance, many love listening to the type of music played in clubs (pop or hip hop or trip hop or R&B/soul or funk, in contrast, say, to classical or jazz), and many like to drink alcohol. A person who doesn't enjoy any those activities might be like the proverbial fish out of water while in a dance club.
Your anecdote shows how you dealt with your own discomfort, but it also illustrates how you are very much in the growing process, discovering your own values as you explore the world beyond your childhood home. Good luck as you continue that adventure!
@Brad: Most of my friends have a different cultural group as you pointed out. Ethnicity may be same but since India is divided in so many states that even those "sub-cultures" are actually regarded as cultures once you get to see things.
ReplyDeleteHi Shivam,
ReplyDeleteI had such an experience too. I was in Thailand Phuket and that place is full of clubs and bars.
So to really experience the place, I just went with my friends to the clubs. I did not like it in there too with all the loud music and the 'high' people.But I manage to find a corner to drink my drinks quietly and was surprised to find others who like the peace as well. I even got to make some friends with them although we almost forgot each other the next day. Haha:)
But I guess its really up to each person's comfort zone and who willing they are to try new things. Till today, I still do not enjoy the clubs be it local or overseas. But I do enjoy a nice drink at bars with friends :)
Hi Shivam,
ReplyDeleteI was initially wonder how is this inter-cultural, until you explained of the sub-cultures in India. I believe that this is another example of peer pressure, where you have to follow because of the bigger group.
Yes, it can be looked as a first time experience. On the other hand, I think we should always respect each person's comfort zone and the preference, and try to accommodate if possible.
Nice to hear your experience.
@XQ: You are correct that it really depends upon the person's comfort level. I do not enjoy much but the other person can. So it is the matter of perspective.
ReplyDelete@Elgin: Thanks a lot Elgin for positive feedbacks. The sub-cultures in India are distinguished that you can consider to be a culture. :)
ReplyDelete